You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
