i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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