that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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