While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
