She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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