He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
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