he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
These tits shall not be calmed
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
