My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Randomize
