So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
40s are totally the cure
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
