Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
