God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
