It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
