In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
