I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
