you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
operation harelip BJ is a go
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
