your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
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