dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Randomize
