i jhust puked up my retainher.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
