I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Randomize
