i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
