so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
