just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Randomize
