To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
