My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
