at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize