I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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