Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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