so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
