Already got asked if we're dating
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
