remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
