This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
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