He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
is wine microwaveable?
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
