How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
