The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
