she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
you never un-have a 4some
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
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