How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
