like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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