actually, I'm a sock model
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
