i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
