Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize
