That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
