It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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