I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize
