I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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