I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
