You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
