he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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