Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
