It's Friday. Sex?
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
