She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Randomize
