I want to walk on stilts...naked
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Randomize
